


losing grace

by Faye_Reynolds



Series: tumblr au prompts [5]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: M/M, Winnix - Freeform, one is presumed dead!au, presumed dead!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13381392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faye_Reynolds/pseuds/Faye_Reynolds
Summary: presumed dead!aufrommy tumblr post





	losing grace

**Author's Note:**

> presumed dead!au
> 
> from [ my tumblr post](http://thecompanyofheroes.co.vu/post/164288460963/winnix-one-is-presumed-deadau-nix-has-always)

nix has always erred on the side of caution. he was careful to open up, to make friends, to fall in love. he knew how fickle and cruel life could be and he decided at an early age that it was easier to live rather than lose. but once he met dick, everything change. he found out that risks were worth it. it was worth it to have dick as his best friend, even if he lost him. then dick kissed him and it his risk-taking grew. he fell in love so easily that it surprised him. everything with dick was so simple and he found no reason to fear what he feared for so long. then dick goes on assignment for three weeks. when dick joined the fbi, about two years after they’d met, nix was terrified. it was bad enough when dick was a cop, but the fbi was higher profile, more danger, and greater risk. but then dick came home every night and nix got used to it. he forgot about the danger because dick always came home safely. until he doesn’t. until there’s an explosion and everyone is presumed dead. until he’s told his husband is dead. and all of his caution in life was for naught. because dick had destroyed him the moment he walked into his life. and nix knew something like this was going to happen…he just thought they’d both make it out alive.

* * *

 

when someone dies, it’s impossible to gauge how far their loss goes and how many people’s live are forever changed.

nix didn’t care about those people.  _they_  didn’t have their husband taken form them.  _they_  didn’t have to plan a funeral while being completely hollow and numb.  _they_  didn’t have to answer one hundred and one questions about their husband.  _they_ didn’t have to bury an empty box because their husband’s body couldn’t be identified. 

no.

all they had to worry about was making sure nix knew they were sorry. and it was enough.

nothing was enough.

nix was empty and void of any emotion. he could even find the anger his friends were telling him to feel. he had nothing. dick had become his everything. and no there was nothing. he was nothing. 

he’s staring at the backyard for their dogs to run around. where dick would bbq on fourth of july for their chosen family. where they could watch the stars shine and snow fall. where they would grow old together.

now, with the rain pouring onto it, nix saw nothing. just wood and grass. plain and empty.

he’s too busy staring and trying not to think, that he doesn’t hear someone come through the door.

“lewis,” nix recognizes the voice and knows who it is because only one person in the world calls him lewis - not lew or nix - just lewis.

“hiya kitty.” nix tries to smile but he’s sure he doesn’t.

kitty pulls a chair up beside him and joins his staring.

“what’re we looking at?”

nix sighs, for lack of a better thing to do, “an empty future.”

kitty smiles, “oh well so long as it’s not about the fact that the grass needs cut.”

nix smiles and damns kitty for always being able to do that.

he hears rumbling in the kitchen and knows harry is here too.

“so what brings the welsh’s to my dreary abode.”

“oh we’ve just been too happy and need to be brought down a notch.”

god, nix loved kitty so much. harry and dick had been partners for so long and nix found solace and camaraderie with kitty because she understood all of his reservations and fears. not to mention they never placated one another and always made the other laugh. she was his best friend.

“i do try my hardest to accommodate guests.”

kitty smiled, not sad or annoyed, just comforted in nix being able to be so open with her.

harry walked into the back room, a sandwich in hand, and nix smiled at the familiar sight.

“hey nix, you’re all outta booze.”

kitty glared but nix just laughed.

“i wonder why, har.”

kitty looked uncomfortable and nix knew her well enough to know she knew something she wasn’t saying. 

“why are you guys here? really?”

harry swallowed heavily, but his voice gave nothing away.

“the, uh…the office needs to talk to you about his insurance.”

“now? i have to go to the cemetery and finalize everything.”

kitty grabbed nix’s hands that had started shaking without his knowledge.

“we’ll taking you after, lewis. just come with us.”

something was still off about her tone, but nix was too numb to question it further.

kitty helped him pick out a nice outfit and finish shaving when he couldn’t look at his reflection anymore.

she dried his tears and helped him pick himself back up off the ground.

they walked back downstairs and nix could tell harry wanted to say something but he felt kitty shake her head no from beside him.

he really loved his best friend.

they all climbed into the car and nix was asleep before they hit the highway.

* * *

nix was in and out of consciousness for the ride and only caught glimpses of kitty and harry’s conversations.

_he has to know, harry._

_fuck protocol and fuck the bureau, kitty. if this is how they chose to handle this, i don’t want to work for them anymore._

_i don’t know how he’s going to handle it. it could kill him, harry._

_he’s already dead, kit. i have to try._

he heard car doors slam and he shot up from where he fell asleep against the window.

groggy he pulled himself out of the car and wiped his eyes.

“did you take the backroads or something, har? that was a long ride.”

he opened his eyes to a large log cabin and surrounded by trees. 

he looked to see harry and kitty holding onto one another and kitty looked scared.

“what’s going on?”

harry whistled and nix followed harry’s gaze to the entrance of the cabin.

and when he finally realized what he was seeing his heart stopped.

it couldn’t be.

it was impossible. 

nix was speechless. 

he was confused. 

he was  _pissed._

he didn’t know who to yell at first.

his husband’s partner for hiding this from him from the start. his best friend for deceiving him for weeks. or his husband for not being dead.

he chose all three at once.

he shouted, “fuck you all.”

and then, because he had nowhere else to go, he got back in the car. 

he saw out of the corner of his eye harry and kitty walking towards dick and holding him back.

then nix realized that what he was doing. he husband was  _alive_  and he was pouting in the car like a child.

sure it was one of the worst things that anyone can do, but he was sure there was a reason that it had to be hidden and he’s sure harry and kitty were there everyday to make sure he was okay.

but none of that mattered anymore because dick was alive and nothing on earth could make nix happier. 

nothing could stop him from holding onto his husband and never letting go. 

he rushed out of the car and started running towards dick.

he saw dick push past kitty and harry and run towards him.

they met in the middle and crashed into one another, lips connecting and arms wrapping and holding onto one another tightly.

it was a long time before they pulled apart, even so they were only separated by an inch, forehead resting against one another.

“you,” was all nix could get out. he was panting and he felt like he was about to pass out from joy.

“me?”

and god, nix never thought dick’s voice could sound more beautiful, but that one words was more memorable than his vows.

“i hate you.”

dick laughed.

“i know.”

“you died.”

nix shivered and dick pulled him in tighter.

“almost.”

“i almost died too.”

dick sighed and kissed nix desperately, both of them had tears streaming down their faces.

they pulled apart again and nix finally opened his eyes and he fell to the ground, dick following him down.

nix couldn’t keep his hands off his husband’s face.

“y-you’re here. you’re alive.”

dick smiled and nix kissed him again.

“i’m alive.”

“ _fuck_.”

“i’m sor-”

nix place a hand over his mouth.

“don’t. don’t ever apologize for this. i don’t care and i don’t want to hear it. you’re here, that’s all that matters.”

dick smiled and kissed nix again and god nix was drowning and it’d never felt so good.

harry let out a wolf whistle and they two of them pulled apart laughing.

“he’s a real asshole sometimes.”

dick sighed, “yeah but he saved my life so i tolerate him.”

nix’s face grew serious in understanding, “that’s how he knew. he got you out.”

dick nodded with a smile, “and you know he can’t keep anything from kitty even if he tried.”

nix smiled, “he’s the worst liar.”

they just stared at one another for a long time, the sun shining on them and breeze blowing around them in a gentle caress.

it was perfect. like he was seeing his life in an entirely new light. 

“lewis! harry is cheating at scrabble. please come beat him so he shuts up.”

dick stood up and held out a shaky hand, like he was worried that nix wouldn’t grab it. 

but he had nothing to be worried about. nix had chosen dick from the day they met. he’d been lost and then everything in his life had made sense. like everything in his life had been build up to richard winters. and it felt like that now. that even dick’s “death” was part of the journey they were supposed be on. 

dick smiled - knowing, loving, and fearing - and asked something that he’d never thought he’d hear coming from his husband.

dick jerked his head toward the cabin, “going my way?”

nix smiled and let dick pull him up off the ground.

dick looked deep into nix eyes, the way no one else was able to.

“i love you lewis nixon. i’ll love you ‘til the end of time.”

nix pulled him into a gentle but powerful kiss, pouring everything he couldn’t put into words.

they pulled apart but kept their hand entwined as they climbed the stairs.

“harry welsh, borange is not word and you don’t get that triple word score!”

“kitty you’re just saying it wrong!”

“i will divorce you.”

nix started laughing as they walked into the cabin and as he watched dick open the door for him, he knew that no matter what, dick would always be worth the risk. 


End file.
